Friday, November 9, 2018

Behind The Desk - Breakups, Starting a PhD + My Book

Hello! OMG it has been like 2 months at this point since my last BTD! 

I’m at this weird stage where I’m chilling out and Christmas shopping but also nose diving into the deep end to wrap up 2018 with a bang! So much has changed! Where do I even start?

November is my birthday month and also my favourite time of year - I love when it's just getting hot and the beach always seems like a good idea. You can start to feel the anticipation and excitement of Christmas as well as the rejuvenation of a fresh new year approaching. But for the meantime, we get this whole month of in-between bliss where everything is less stressful and you feel like you could handle anything.

You would have most likely seen by now that my secret project was revealed and my book is now available for purchase in both eBook and print versions. The response has been overwhelming to say the least and I am so grateful for everyone who has shown support for this project as it has launched. Having my work published has been and insane process but the rewards were well worth it in that I can hold tangible evidence of my hard work and also share my story with you!

I’m deep in marking the last assessment for the subject I teach at QUT so that is keeping me busy but once I’m finished this marking – school is out for the year – hell yeah. And speaking of school..I’m back next year to commence my PhD program. I can’t even describe the feeling but it’s a mix of self-doubt and pure dread that I won’t be good enough to get through the 3 years of PhD studies. I shouldn’t even write that because it’s so negative but I’m just being honest. Like what makes me deserving of getting a doctorate?! All I know is that I am extremely passionate about my thesis on social media influencers (SMIs) and I know that this passion will carry me through because I genuinely enjoy study and furthering my learning.

Speaking of education, I’m also in the process of trying to learn Italian. I have a couple of months here where I have no tutoring obligations, some time off work over Christmas and therefore a bit of downtime, which doesn’t happen often. So, I figured I can be productive during this period and try and learn a new language – I’m seriously enjoying it so far.

I’m also wrapping up my book challenge for the year and have only 3 books to go until I reach my yearly goal of 30 books read! I’m just finishing up 'The Sun Also Rises' by Ernest Hemingway – I put it down a week or so ago when I started reading ‘Many Lives, Many Masters’. I have a ‘Books I’ve Read Lately’ post going up shortly where you can catch up on all my latest reads. High on the list of next to read are; ‘Awaken The Giant Within’ (Tony Robbins), and ‘When Breath Becomes Air’. During the holidays I also plan on reading ‘Your Dream Life Starts Here’ which is a book by the owner of Kikki K and is accompanied by a workbook to help you figure out exactly what you want out of life.

Okay so what else has been going on? 

After reeling from the launch of my book, I have been constantly looking at ways to improve the website, ship the books etc. and have been refining this process. I have also gained a new JDC Marketing client so that has been keeping me busy with a complete rebrand for the company.

I have so many big plans for this website next year and am planning a massive revamp / relaunch of the site so I will be looking into that around the holidays also.

Sorry this feels like a bit of a brain dump but you guys always say you enjoy these sorts of posts where I just sort of update you with whatever pops to mind, as it does.  

So, what just popped to mind was to update you guys that I have gone through a breakup recently! I know - sorry to surprise you with that one. I don’t typically address these sorts of things but I think if what I write could help just one person – it’s worthwhile. The first thing to know is that it’s honestly for the best for both of us and I am already happier than I was.

I’m going to put it out there - breakups are never easy, especially paired with the fact that I feel all emotions very strongly and am a hopeless romantic at heart.

But if you’re going through something similar just know that - sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. 

"When things go bad, don't go with them." There doesn’t have to be a resounding reason a relationship isn’t working – you simply have to face up to the reality that it just isn’t working. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and it doesn’t mean the other person did you harm – it just means that there is someone out there better suited for you. I have taken this as an incredible opportunity for self-growth and time alone to establish my independence.

My self-worth isn’t diminished by another person’s inability to see it. 

Something I’ve learned from this is to lean into pain to fully feel and process it. From this, I have better understood my reasons for experiencing the hurt. You come to this point of realisation where you start uncovering the real reasons you’re hurting from the situation. Breakups don’t hurt because you’re losing the person or ending the relationship but it hurts because it shakes up your pride, bruises your ego and it does feel like a loss to say goodbye to the future you imagined and release yourself from the delusions you put around convincing yourself the relationship was the one.

Life doesn't always introduce you to the people you want to meet. Sometimes life puts you in touch with the people you NEED to meet - to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to gradually strengthen you into the person you were meant to become.

In order to live life fully and with balance you must experience both the heights of joy and lows of pain – it’s all about the learning process. And we all know I bloody love to learn right?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Nice article and well expressed